Chronic pain is such a huge issue and so many people live in chronic pain for part or most of their lives. I shared my story of living with chronic pain and many of you shared your stories as well. It has been such a blessing to have our Facebook page and hear all of your stories. It really helps me not feel so alone in my own situation. I’ve also given you my 25 keys to calm your chaos which you can print out simply by signing up for our newsletter. (this printable has been a huge hit!) Hopefully it is helping all of you guys with a little of the day to day chaos.
I wanted to take a moment to say how much I love all the support that our community gives each other and the support you have given me. Sharing your stories online is not always easy because you open yourself up for commentary. But that comes with the gig!
Now with that being said please DO NOT think that this post is directed to any of our fans that left sweet suggestions and offered up advice for what has worked with them on their journeys. We love all of your suggestions and again your support means the world to this community. This list is a round-up of things that most of us in chronic pain really just rather not hear from loved ones including co-workers, friends, and family members. This list is intended for those that support us and that may have the best intentions but since they have never been in chronic pain they probably wouldn’t know that these comments simply aren’t helpful in fact sometimes they make us feel worse. I also want this list to be for those of us in chronic pain because sometimes it really helps to know that others feel the same way that you do.
20 Things to Never Say to a Person In Chronic Pain
1) You’re Just being Lazy
2) Have you tried this (insert any type of medication)
3) Have your tried this (insert any organic method)
4) You need to change your diet and try this one.
5) My (friend, relative) etc has the same thing and you know what worked for them?
6) It’s all in your head.
7) Did you pray about it? Maybe you should talk to your pastor.
8) Maybe you should get up and go exercise .
9) If you focused on something else you would feel better.
10) Suck it up, everyone has pain.
11) You sure do complain a lot.
12) You are always in pain!!!
13) Have you seen a doctor?
14) Have you taken anything?
15) You must love the attention you get from being sick all the time.
16) You can’t be feeling bad again!!!
17) You ruin every special occasion because your sick.
18) You couldn’t possibly be in “that” much pain.
19) Why can’t “they” just fix you?
20) You don’t “look” handicapped/in pain!
So why are most of these just not ok to say to people in chronic pain? You can pick out the ones that are accusatory and deduct that obviously any one who is in constant pain doesn’t exactly want to be accused of making it up, faking it or doing it for attention.
Next, Many of these comments suggest that pain can not be THAT bad or THAT frequent and it can… it really can and it’s so unfortunate for both our loved ones and for us. Trust us we know you suffer because of us.
Lastly, the sweet “you should try this” suggestions … we know you love us and just want to help but unless it is a brand new never before heard of method .. we probably have already explored those options.
I know as a chronic pain sufferer that most things are said with love but in many ways I think most of the time all we want is a hug, patience and understanding.
What are your thoughts?
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